I wrote a poem today, as I become for the first time a mother whose children are both in school.
There is a deafening silence in my home, compounded by divorce.
I'm not complaining. I’m not regretting. Just noticing.
It's funny when you get what you wish for (space, quiet, time to work), and then don't know what to do once you're there.
This is what my Style Coaching practice is all about: helping people create a wardrobe they truly feel good about vis-a-vis the weaning of fast fashion! It CAN be done. And — here’s the big one — you will be happier through the practice of tuning in to yourself, and making purchases that are aligned with your values!
I am totally in favor of someone having a capsule wardrobe, if it is truly what their heart desires. You go for it! I’ll help, because I have some opinions about how to go about doing that well (as you might expect).
One of the things I’ve worked on with multiple clients is how to dress now that they are 50, 60 or beyond. As our bodies change we might find ourselves wanting something different from our clothing, while still looking our best. That’s right fashion designers and marketers...women don’t fall off the face of the planet when they turn 50!
What will people think??
I heard that phrase a lot growing up.
“Who cares what people think??” was always my response.
But that’s not completely true, is it? It is partly true...sometimes true...but not completely true.
When it comes to what we wear, “what people think” can often factor in. .
But lately I have been playing with the idea that “what people think” is none of my business at all!
Yes, I love clothes and I am utterly obsessed with fabric. But what draws me to this work is SO. MUCH. MORE!
I was taking my measurements the other day, as I often do, in preparation for starting a new pattern. I was surprised to find that my hip measurement had increased by one inch.
As my mind started to spiral into a mix of blame, shame and fear, as a mind is want to do, I saw the spiral in front of me and stepped back.
It’s a bitch, isn’t it?
How many times does shame affect the choices we make? How often are we pulled to do something out of fear of being shamed, or trying to avoid shame?
How much shame are we holding in our bodies, about our bodies?
Parts that we don’t like. That aren’t good enough.
Yesterday I wore a dress. It was a very nice dress.
I have not worn this dress for quite some time because, well...it's a very hot dress, and when I go out into the world in it I can't quite handle what happens.
A few notes about the dress for context: It's plain navy blue. It doesn't show a lot of skin. It's not low cut. I wore it with sneakers and no jewelry. It's extremely comfortable, like I could run a 5K in it if I were the type to enjoy running (I am not). But it huuuuuuuugs. It hugs just right, in all the right places. And it lifts and maximizes and minimizes...basically it's a magic dress is what I'm saying. A magical warm hug of a dress.
After watching Homecoming, the Beyonce movie*, I am left wondering about a lot of things. For example, how is it possible to choreograph 200 people on stage? How much were those dancers and musicians paid? How does a human female perform at the top of her game after just giving birth to twins? And then the question that stuck with me the most: Has Beyonce proven the irrelevance of pants? We know what it means to “wear the pants,” but what does it mean when you decide to take them off?
Having worked in fashion-related businesses for more than a decade, I have had the opportunity to talk to many different women about clothes. But anytime you start talking about clothes, the conversation will almost immediately shift to talking about bodies. It’s not weird that this happens - clothes cover our bodies after all - but it is noticeable in the way that it happens…